hypocaffeinemia

more l00t than one can b00t

We’re two days status-post the biggest orgy of wrapping paper and hyperglycemia known to mankind. Despite the fact I was tasked with working Christmas Day, my child — now 18 months old — had no less than five present-opening sessions. The image above is merely one such session — Santa’s work. Rumor has it it took him over 4 hours, dozens of curse words, a bit of jimmy-rigging, and eight entire liters of elbow grease to get that play kitchen into place.

Anyways, due to sessions at multiple houses and the fact my son is the sole grandchild on both sides, my child is in possession of enough phat loot to put even KB Toys back in business. I seriously don’t know what we’re going to do with it all. Our living room is coated in various plastic and wooden toy parts as of this morning. Compounding that, we’re moving to a smaller home come March.

Any suggestions?

As I approach the conclusion of this educational chapter, I am beginning to keep an eye out for various internship programs at participating hospitals. I’m in Houston, so it’s not like there’s a shortage of hospitals, however, there may be a shortage of programs due to the economic downturn.

My preferred internship would be at my own hospital in my own ICU. Unfortunately, nothing formal is established as of this moment. My director assures me she will be creating an internship “just for me”. Problem is, such a decision is likely out of her hands and due to the nature of her job, I have about the same amount of faith as I do a politician’s promises.

Not helping matters, my hospital has recently endured a hiring freeze coinciding with the search for a new CEO and a new CNO. We have a new CNO now — one that nobody knows anything about, mind you — but at least there’s progress on that front. However, the ICU unit-based educator has recently stepped down primarily due to a lack of hours for her to devote to education (she’s also a floor nurse), and this appears to be a pattern throughout the facility.

So we have a hiring freeze, unknown unknowns calling the shots, and a lack of an educator to establish a formalized internship program standing in my way.

Needless to say, I’m looking into a plan B. Also looking at plans C, D, and E.

From The Chronicle’s article on the runway crash of Continental #1404 yesterday:

“We’re a God-based family, and we really feel there was a divine hand in all of this.”

Inevitably, it seems, after any disaster, survivors praise the god of their choosing for blessing them with survival. I’ve always found such a concept absurd — if you attribute your unscathedness as god’s will you have you attribute the fact that 8 are still admitted in the hospital (one in serious condition, mind you) as also part of god’s will.

In fact, if you believe your particular god to be an omnimax sort of god, as most people do, you have to believe that not only was the crash god’s will, but it was for ultimately good purposes.

I just can’t wrap my mind around such a position.

Today marks the Winter Solstice — the period of the shortest day and longest night of the year. This milestone, of course, is produced by the Earth’s 23.44° axial tilt, the reason for the seasons.

Historically, this period has long association with celebrations. If you look at this period with an anthropological mind, you’d see a nice evolution from the Roman Brumalia, Saturnalia, and Sol Invictus (unconquered sun) to the Germanic Yule to the modern celebration of Christmas. Even Hanukkah is not immune for this traditional mosh up of festivities — while it is considered a minor holiday in the Jewish calendar, due to its proximity to Christmas and all the festivities associated with it in the western world, it is often celebrated in much the same way with similar enthusiasm.

No matter what your creed, there’s plenty to celebrate this time of year.

Patient just coded. We shocked twice. Patient recovers, wakes up, and the following exchange occurs:

Patient: “What the hell just happened?!”

ICU Nurse: “Your heart stopped beating.”

Patient: “Shit! I hate it when that happens!”

It’s nice to leave a code laughing.

I’m still cleaning the house. This time, I found a candy cane attached to a card given to my son at his school. Here’s what the card says: 

The Meaning of The Candy Cane

Many years ago a candy maker wanted to make a candy that would symbolize the true meaning of Christmas - Jesus. 

The hard candy was shaped like a “J” to represent that Jesus is our rock of all ages. The candy was made of white to stand for the pureness of Jesus. The red represents the blood that Jesus shed to save us from our sins. 

So the next time you see a candy cane take a minute to remember the real meaning of Christmas.

I don’t particularly want to dive into the theological considerations of letting kids lick and suck the purity and blood of Christ. Instead, I just want to point out that it’s blatantly false. Snopes does a decent job of covering this myth here, but I think I can rebut the story even quicker. They’re called candy canes because….they’re shaped like canes, people! We don’t call them “candy J’s”.